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     Idiots Guide to the Big Dumb Show ...
 

FEATURES

As soon as we do something more than once on the show, we figure it's a "feature". That way our boss thinks we're hard at work coming up with new "features" all the time, when really, we're just doing the same crap over and over. Here are some of the alleged "features" you'll hear on the Big Dumb Show:

103-Second Update
Throughout the show, we'll be bringing you the latest breaking developments in stupid human behavior. For example, the guy who beat his dog to death because he thought it was gay. The woman who got breast implants in her ass. Or the gang member who mistook sign language for gang signs and opened fire. Every hour and sometime, okay, well most of the time, it's just a BIT longer than 103 seconds.

IDIOT TRIVIA
Be ready to play the World's Most Difficult Trivia Challenge, "Idiot Trivia". If you're able to answer the three brain-numbingly difficult questions, you could win the ever popular Free Crap. Try this test to see if you're ready to play:

Question 1: What Is Your Name? (Did you get it? Remember, there is a time limit. If you answered correctly, go on to the next question. If not, take a break, and try it again later.)

Question 2: Where Are You Calling From? (See? The questions are getting progressively more difficult. If you've made it this far, try to stay relaxed for the next super-difficult, ultra-mega-bonus round question.)

Question 3: In what city did most of the events on the popular television show, "Beverly Hills 90210" take place? (If you said, "Beverly Hills" ... Whoo-hoo! You're a winner! If you said something like, "uh, Greenwood?" ... don't feel bad ... we've got another game you might enjoy.)

THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS "C"
Yes, it's America's Second Most Difficult Trivia Challenge. (You're not going to make me explain this all again are you?)

DON STUCK'S HILLBILLY HITS
Every friday, Stuck destroys an otherwise perfectly good X103 song on his banjo. Your job is to identify which song he's mutilating on his backwood's instrument. Fabulous prizes abound for those who can meet the challenge.

NEWS FREE NEWS
Do you want to know if the Fed is going to raise interest rates? Want to know what's going on in Washington? Do you require up-to-the-minute reports on Wall Street? Then boy are you gonna be disappointed, 'cause every hour we bring you the latest news on what kind of trouble Eminem got into, if Kid Rock is in jail or not ... and you can count on us to be the first to let you know when Angelina Jolie is single again.

TRAFFIC/WEATHER
Of course we bring you all the usual stuff you need as you drag your ass into your evil, twisted little job every morning. Don Stuck makes up fantasy accidents when there are none, and... our seven listeners have spoken and they've told us that they want weather, so we're extending our commitment to be your number one source of weather information ... and to show you how serious we are about accurate weather information, we've made a huge investment in the state-of-the art Big Dumb Weather Center, which is equipped with both a window and a thermometer.

MUSIC
Yes, the most important "feature" of the Big Dumb Show; music. Ever try to hear any on the radio in the morning? The Big Dumb Show. Your Mornings. Your Music.


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